Witchcraft and Gender Dysphoria. yay

Wow. It’s been, like, forever. It’s almost May! As in, May is tomorrow. I’ve been sort of procrastinating on writing, mainly because I don’t know what to say.

Last weekend I stayed at my date-mate's (I’ve decided on this one because it rhymes :)) last weekend. We rode the city bus downtown and visited a few stores. There was this one really cool witchy shop called Mainstreet Awakenings that we went to, and it had a bunch of crystals and candles and stuff. I hope to go there again sometime to get some books on how to read tarot cards; I’m planning on making my own deck at some point and I kinda need to know how to use them if I plan on getting any accurate readings. By the time we got back to their house, it was pretty dark out, and we had a fun time making some basic protection spell jars. I put mine on my altar when I got home, and ever since then my room has been feeling a lot more peaceful and positive. I’m really happy that my first spell jar has worked out so well.

I also got some crystals from the store and gathered some acorns to decorate my altar for Beltane, as well as getting a pretty purple altar cloth. The nice part is, my parents know absolutely nothing about witchcraft and so my altar doesn’t seem out of place to them at all. The only downside is that I’m not allowed to light candles in my room; they can be in my room, just not lit. So I’m stuck to unlit candles and those weird electric ones that I can get from Dollar Tree (that don’t come with batteries. of course.).

Well, on the plus side I got to take some amazing pictures with my digital camera the other day. I wish I could share them, but I still have yet to figure out how to connect my memory stick to my computer so that I can upload the photos. I don’t know man, photography is awesome.

The other day at school I was having a really bad anxiety attack, in the middle of gym class. My hands were shaking and I felt plain old weird, and apparently, my pupils were really dilated. I had no idea what caused it until after I was leaving the girls’ locker room and suddenly the panic was gone. Turns out, I had a sudden gender shift in the middle of class and was very much a boy in very girly gym clothes. My anxiety attack was just gender dysphoria at its finest. Since then I’ve been acting as masculine as possible, which, although it has earned me a couple of weird looks (and some lost point for gym — no way would I be able to wear those feminine gym clothes), I’ve been able to keep the worst of the dysphoria (a.k.a. the anxiety attacks) away.

In other news, I have recently become hyper-fixated on mushrooms. I decided to create my own personal mushroom-identification-type book thing, and in the three days since I’ve started it, I’ve gotten four and a half pages completely filled and inked. I’m honestly kinda proud of myself, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve been putting off homework to work on it I’d say it’s time well-spent. Of course, I have been putting off my work. Which is not the best seeing as the AP test that could potentially give me up to 5 free college credits is in less than two weeks and I really should be studying for that. On the other hand, we have been doing a lot of practice in-class, writing essays and short-answer questions and reviewing the curriculum. On the other-other hand, this is a huge test, and it's only like 10 days away. But you know what, I am the president of procrastination. I’ll be fine.

Welp, it’s been a pleasure recounting my trials and tribulations, but it’s time for me to go. My family is heading out to Dairy Queen for dinner (who goes to Dairy Queen for dinner?) and it’s time for me to see how many old people and rednecks I can make uncomfortable. See ya!